Shingo and I climbed to the rooftop. Smoke escaped from the chimney like fleeing birds. They dissipated so fast I couldn’t tell whether they had slipped into the sky or been strangled by the air.
“What time is it?” I asked Shingo. He had been scrolling his phone the whole time. “Eight o’clock.” He peeled his back from the white wall behind him and slipped the phone into his pocket.
“Let’s do it.” I kicked the black bag in front of me. The bag moved, let out a faint moan. Shingo stood to the side watching this unnerving bag, frowned, then with one smooth push sent it off the edge. The speed of his chain of movements startled me. I turned to look at him and broke into a smile I hadn’t worn in a long time. He was crouching on the ground. He shrugged, and smiled back.
Sunlight fell at an angle across his broad shoulders, casting a sharp shadow on the ground. Today’s sunset had truly given us everything. A strong wind swept past, lifting Shingo’s hair. Shingo crouched at the edge of the rooftop, lost in thought, watching the houses in the distance receiving their daily baptism of light. I thought of that evening last autumn when Shingo and I survived a car accident, when I saw countless blazing suns glittering on the shards of broken glass and droplets of blood scattered on the ground. Then everything went dark, and every one of those suns went out.
On the tangent line between Shingo’s shadow and the eaves, a sparrow landed. Shingo’s gaze drifted slowly, following the sparrow’s trajectory.
He crouched there, head tilted to the left, face toward the setting sun. A surge of impulse rose inside me. I suddenly wanted very much to push Shingo off, to bring that sacred face closer to the sun. I could see the sunlight clearly on the contour of his face. The curve of the light seemed to bend space, making sound travel a longer path around me. Shingo gazed at the distant houses the way a small child looks at the ocean. My feet stood on solid ground, yet I felt a sense of weightlessness, and it stopped me from pushing him.
Shingo stood up and turned around. He walked toward the stairs, smiling. In his eyes I saw two deep, dark, silent vortexes of despair. I knew I should have pushed him off just then, but the light from that great red sun slowly sinking in the distance pierced through my chest. I stood frozen in place.